Thursday, August 12, 2010

Eli Roth & Cast of The Last Exorcism

I'm too excited for Monday. I'll be heading to the Toronto After Dark Film Fest 2010 to see the red carpet screening of The Last Exorcism. Not just that, but Eli Roth, Patrick Fabian and Iris Bahr will be there for a Q&A session following the movie. I may or may not do everything I can to meet Eli Roth up close. Yes, I will. Anyway, check out the After Dark Film Fest's lineup - it's pretty awesome and I will probably be going for some other flicks this week. A week of horror with horror lovers! Stay tuned for my review of The Last Exorcism on Tuesday!

Thursday, August 5, 2010


Splice (2010)

I had high expectations going in and I was utterly satisfied when coming out. Splice kept me on the edge of my seat, anxious to know what was coming next (you know it's nothing good but you just hope...).

First of all, Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley - good on ya for taking a risky role and doing a fantastic job. They were awesome. Someone said to me the other day, "Oh I don't like Sarah Polley - she takes on the weirdest roles. Like that movie with the alien." Well POO TO YOU because Sarah Polley is our Canadian hero. Okay fine, that's exaggerating it a tad.

I think I already summed up the basic plot in a previous post about movies I was looking forward to so I won't repeat myself. Plus this is so old that people probably already know everything they need to know. But I'm here to say, GO RENT THIS MOVIE AND WATCH IT if you didn't see it in theaters. It's intelligent, it's refreshing, it's just downright interesting.

Downsides. As with the reviews I read beforehand, some scenes are... kind of funny, one in particular. The audience laughed. I laughed. I'm not sure what the original intent was, but I think it could have been disturbing and very serious (it was still disturbing yet funny) and it didn't quite hit the mark. You'll know what I mean when you see it, although I feel like if the rest of the audience didn't burst out laughing it would have made a harder and darker impact on me. Then the last 20 minutes is bizarre and drags out too long, but it doesn't make Splice as a whole any less interesting or great.

I'll definitely be picking this one up and watching it again very soon.

Overall: 8/10
Gore meter: 1/10 (nothing bloody or gross here)
Scare meter: 1/10 (besides some tense scenes nothing here is scary either)
Interesting meter: 9.5/10

The Human Centipede

The Human Centipede: The First Sequence (2010)

I know, I know this is such OLD news. Everybody has heard about it in some form or another and opinions have been voiced plenty of times. But heck, it was a movie that made me sick to my stomach just hearing about the plot, so there's no way in hell I'm not reviewing it. Plus, my co-worker JUST TODAY mentioned it during lunch, about how his friend told him the plot and he couldn't even handle it.

Bottom line is, the film more or less boils down to: Fuck, that is really disgusting. You know what's coming, you know it's disgusting, and you know you're going to be sick to your stomach and that's exactly what happens. The poor actresses in the film couldn't act, but you only had to withstand it for the very beginning because then heck, their mouths are sewn to someone's butt and they can't speak. So their acting becomes crying, muffled crying, muffled screaming, tearing up. Yeah, they did that pretty well. The plot is pfffbbbt, full of predictable escape attempts and all that jazz.

I will say that Dieter Laser, who plays the sick doctor did a pretty crazy and good job in his role. He was creepy, but in an over the top way that was... suitable for an over the top movie. I still didn't feel intimidated, tense, scared, or anything but disgusted throughout the film though. 

So basically, it was disgusting. No surprise there!

Overall: 2/10
Gore meter: 1/10 (you don't see much blood, cutting, etc.)
Scare meter: 2/10
Disgusting/uncomfortable meter: 11/10

I'm Not Dead

So, I've been away for a little while - you know, I had to solve like all these annoying puzzles and traps before this robotic clown guy let me back out into the real world. It was a bitch but I'm here now.
I'm going to get back into the swing of things. I'll do some reviews of some old(er) horror movies I've missed writing about in the past few months. Not sure how many epic ones I've seen recently, although I'm looking forward to The Last Exorcism! There is a giant poster in the downtown core where I work and every time I see it I smile.

Monday, May 3, 2010


Dread (2009)

I haven't seen all the 8 Films to Die For movies but I am going to declare Dread the best so far. It started off a little slow and had me a bit skeptical at first, but ended with such a bang that I have no other choice than to give it praise here.

Dread tells the story of 3 college kids out to make a documentary for one of their film classes. One of the three students has severe issues after witnessing the brutal murder of his parents as a child, and he comes up with the idea of documenting what people's darkest fears are. Deciding that the interviews are too tame, he sets out to actually put people into their scariest nightmare and says it's the next phase in their experiment. I know, the story sounds rather cliche and it is, but the execution was spot on with great acting, a phenomenal soundtrack, and superb character development.

As I mentioned, I was a skeptic at first. I felt like the beginning and middle were decent/good, but I was mostly focused on how Jackson Rathbone, the main character, really needed a haircut and shave. I'm sorry, you can be a good looking dude, but not without going to a salon stat. Besides the hair, I got a bit annoyed by the antagonist (the one setting up the experiments) because he's one of those characters that has OBVIOUS psychological issues and as a regular person you would never EVER continue to hang out with him, trust him, etc. etc. So when the main characters continue to interact with him, I tended to roll my eyes.

But once you get over that little bump, the last third of this film sets it apart from the cliched plot. There is one of the most gut-wrenching scenes I've seen in a long time... maybe ever (I don't want to ruin it here). As with the most successful of horrors, this is all psychological - no torture porn here! It's not the gore that gets you, it's the fact that you feel for the character. Phenomenal scene. Strong and dark ending (although it left me feeling rather unsatisfied/depressed). The last act of this film drove it to the finish line with me cheering. When the film was over and I was closing my eyes to sleep, I actually felt quite unsettled and even a tiny bit frightened. :)

Overall: 7.5/10
Gore meter: 5/10
Scare meter: 5/10
Uncomfortable meter: 9/10

Sunday, May 2, 2010


Triangle (2009)

Melissa George! I've had a huge fan girl crush on her ever since Alias. Well, that's a lie, because when I saw her on Alias I HATED her guts since she was the arch-enemy of Sydney Bristow (Jennifer Garner). But then I grew up and realized she was gorgeous and imagined in my head an Agent Bristow-Agent Reed sort of love. Whaaat who said I wasn't a big Alias-loving geek as well as a horror fiend? So anyway, I guess my love for Melissa George started with The Amityville Horror remake, and then Turistas, and then 30 Days of Night! I love a gorgeous horror actress with an awesome accent.

Back on track - on to Triangle. Jess (Melissa George) is a single mother to an autistic child and right off the bat she's a little wonky. Her friends encourage her to go onto this day trip sailing adventure and she agrees. Their boat gets caught in a random storm and they are forced to dock a large ocean liner that is... dun dun dun... EMPTY! Gasp! Weird shit begins to happen, such as seeing a small group of people in the water waving for help. Jess rushes to help them but realizes that it's THEMSELVES. What the fuck!

Okay, so Triangle is a film that attempts to be mind boggling and uses time loops and crazy things like that. It's a film that people might roll their eyes at, like, "time loop?! If you look here and here and here you'll realize that this movie makes no sense and blah blah blah blah," etc. Thankfully I'm not that type of movie watcher. Or rather, when I watch a thriller/horror like Triangle, I know not to over think things (unlike say, a film like Donnie Darko which begs you to analyze it). And that's the beauty - if you don't over think the time loop aspect, I think this is definitely an engaging film. Melissa George is a fantastic lead (no bias here, of course) and some of the boat scenes are definitely full of suspense. 

I wouldn't call this an original film by any stretch of the imagination. How many times have we ourselves tried to write a story using time loops and time travel and all that? As unoriginal as you might think it is though, I haven't actually seen a film recently that I can think of that uses time manipulation like Triangle. It's probably because it doesn't make much sense. Haha. But whatever, it's kind of fun. And hey would you look at that, Wikipedia tells me that Triangle has generally been well-received by critics!

Overall: 6.5/10
Gore meter: 2/10
Scare meter: 2/10 (both not gory or scary; just a thriller)

Monday, April 26, 2010

Plants vs. Zombies - Cutest Zombies in the World?

I love tower defense games. I love zombies. I love plants (well, the ones that don't give me allergies). Hence, when Plants vs. Zombies came out middle of last year I was in looooove. My only beef was that the game was a bit too easy, but the extra puzzles and mini-games made up for that. Anyway, I've finished the game 3 times through already and had put it aside for quite a while. But then I saw this a few days ago:

Whaaaaat! Plants vs. Zombies HD on the iPad with an extra mini-game! Jealous (I don't have an iPad just yet). Until I get one, I will be renewing my love for the game. Yes, it's good enough that you can play again and again. And nothing makes me laugh more than the end credits zombie dance. I also say "bwains" alllll the time like they do in the game. So adorable. And when was the last time you heard someone call a zombie adorable?!